these are the things that are on my mind....

these are the things that are on my mind....

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

It's a balancing act.



Well, it's official. I'm a big girl.

I'm two days in to my third week at CalState Long Beach. Also known as "Big Girl School".

It's bittersweet. Well, mostly sweet, but I definitely notice the age difference between myself and the vast majority of my peers. I can't really tell whether or not they notice as well, shit, I don't think I look THAT old... While I truly am proud of myself for finally making it to this point, there's definitely a part of me that wishes I'd done it sooner.

Two weeks down and I'm already feeling the crunch of pressure. Classes aren't difficult (yet) but they are time consuming. I'm still working 5-6 days a week (30+ hours/wk) and it feels like it never stops. School, work, school, work, school... It's a lot, that is, a lot more than I've been doing the last year or so. I haven't quite found my rhythm. I want to work less and study more but I'm nervous for finances. I was lucky enough to receive financial aid this semester, both grants and loans, but I just did my FAFSA for next year and I anticipate being a lot further down on that gift list next time around. So I'm trying to take advantage of that fact that my classes aren't yet difficult and work as much as possible and hopefully bank away some dinero. But I also want to make sure that I'm making school my number one priority. It took a long time to get here and I want to do it right. Get involved in campus life/politics/clubs, get connected with peers (young as they may be) and faculty, and, most importantly, straight A's. I'm paying for this education and I intend to get every last penny's worth, dammit.
I look forward to finding BALANCE, hopefully sooner than later.

As is the motto at my new school, GRADUATION BEGINS TODAY.