This Weekend

I will be attending the International Alchemy Conference...



What is that you ask? No clue, I'll let you know in a few days! =)

today, moreso than ever

i love this time of year, when the universe can't decide whether she's cold or hot. when the fog takes over and the dew covers everything. days, already never long enough, get shorter, and lists of things to be done get longer.

time is a funny, funny thing. sometimes an enemy, sometimes a friend... healing... hollowing... build and destroy.

and tomorrow always comes, no matter how hard you fight it, how earnestly you long for it, it always comes... eventually.
and yesterday always disappears, always becomes a memory, always falls into the past...

breathe.
in. out.
breathe.
in. out.
just breathe...

...

i remember you.

man oh man

It's going to be a long week. School, work, concerts (nine inch nails and bat for lashes) kidsitting my nephews, more work, homework, bills... Being an adult really blows sometimes. I just want to swing on the rings, play handball, and eat paste.


Here's who I'm seeing tomorrow.. good music + great company = sweet dreams.

Nothing to do? Come Play with me!

Every friday and saturday night til the end of september I'll be here at the Irvine Great Park for their Summer Flights & Sounds concert series. It's actually really fun. They've spared no expense on sound production so the shows are super high quality. Lots of interesting music from around the world. You should come out, it's free (my favorite four letter word) only 8$ for parking. Bring a picnic, smuggle in some booze, and sit back and enjoy the music under the stars... Questions? Shoot me an email, or a phone call....


Here's a list of performances.

speak freely?

dear reader, dear friend,

let's be frank with each other.. i think we've gotten close enough to do so, don't you? i'm depressing you. i know it, you know it, we know it. i'm pushing you away slowly, right? you hate to see me spiral, but you feel guilty tuning out, yes? it's okay. i'm aware. but i had to get it out. just had to.. yes, i used you a little, here and there, a little.. used you to communicate things i should've said out loud. but it didn't hurt you, i know it didn't, don't play the victim. we're being frank, remember? i wanted you to know that i'm ready, ok? ready to try, at least, i can't predict the outcome, but i'm ready to give it a shot. for your sake. for my own. i've still got secrets you might never know, and thats just fine, you can understand i'm sure. so, are you ready? good. take my hand, let's change pace, shift gears, move forward. go ahead, grab it, hold tight, and don't let go. but, do remember, we'll always appreciate each other much more in the darkest hours of the night. because thats just how its meant to be. afterall, it's not called melancholy and the infinite sadness for nothing. here's to the things we'll never do.


---jr

the breaking point.

that was it.

Perseids Song

tonight i left work, and started driving towards your house.
i was going to surprise you,
pick you up
and drive you to the middle of nowhere
so, together, we could sip hot chocolate
and watch the stars fall from the sky.
like the fire that was between us
shooting across the universe.
without thinking, i started driving,
grinning from ear to ear.
you'd be so excited;
it would be so perfect

and then it hit me,
like icey waters
against a sun-scorched desert,
reality slapped me across the face.
like a blow to the gut,
it stole away my breath,
and stole a beat from my heart.
my soul lurched beneath the weight...

and all i could do
was turn around and drive home.

still have hope...

brought to us by

how does it so quickly go from


i feel like letting you know
how much i love you today
i feel like letting it show
showing you rightly now
and never going away


to


too many times, I have wanted
To turn around and walk away
Knowing deep inside
You can't provide what I need from you anyway ?



i believed you.

i think this is a mistake...

Irony

Sitting alone listening to love songs under the full moon...

comes from inside

s e c r e t s . . .

HERE.

decisions, decisions...

My friend nik recently suggested training with her for a mini triathlon. The triathlon part sounds fun, but that whole training thing... blech. But the more I've thought about it, the more interested I am. I even went so far as to follow up with her to find out the details. However, turns out its sold out (really? that many people want to run walk swim to the point of exhaustion? hard to believe...) I'm not gonna lie and say I was super bummed, it was more like relieved.... Well, another friend recently said he'd signed up for the Long Beach triathlon (what's with all this triathlon fever???) and now I'm kinda thinking about it, again. Soooooo.... what do i do? Ugh. I know it would be great for me, physically, and quite possible emotionally too, but shit, thats quite a challenge. AAAArrgghhhh! I'm oh-so torn on this one.. yes, no, yes, no, yes??? Do I have it in me? Is six weeks enough to train? What if I drop dead mid course, to they have insurance for that? hhhmmmmm..... maybe I'll just flip a coin.


Anyone got a double-sided quarter I can borrow?