these are the things that are on my mind....

these are the things that are on my mind....

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Raising Awareness For Autism!

My nephew has Aspergers.
(It's not deadly, in fact, it's not even really painful. But it is frustrating, and means he's gonna have to work harder at some things in life. By most standards, he's one of the lucky ones...)
Asperger Syndrome is on the Autism Spectrum. It presents a daily challenge for people with the condition and their families. A cure is a great goal, but for now we'd gladly settle for greater awareness.

The understanding, encouragement and acceptance of others means the world to an Aspie kid

Please join me in my efforts to support Walk Now for Autism Speaks!

Can you imagine hearing the words "your child has autism"? In a split second, life - as you know it - has changed. For a different family every 15 minutes, tomorrow will never be the same.

By participating in this event, we are helping to change the future for all who struggle with autism. By walking, we are getting one step closer to finding what causes autism, how to prevent and treat it, and ultimately a cure so no family ever hears those words again. Until then, we walk to find answers and raise awareness about the devastating toll that autism has had on families like ours.

I need you to help make tomorrow be about dance lessons, school lunches and first words rather than therapy, doctor appointments and despair. Together, we will find the missing pieces.



Click Here to Donate

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

it was one of those moments that pulls at your heartstrings as if it's the last edge of the last cliff at the end of the world. where the sidewalk ends, she once said... and, strangely, it made me feel like the child who used to read that book. fate. destiny, life surmised in one word. my stomach actually spun beneath the thought, if i'd been standing my knees would have buckled.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Birthday Kitty

Sooo...

For as long as I've lived in my current spot I've driven by the same scruffy alley cat day after day. I've affectionately deemed her "Birthday Kitty"

She's always been super sweet, every time I've stopped to give her a scratch she runs right up and is such a lover.
I hadn't seen birthday kitty around in quite a while, until last night.

Last night, I was driving pulling into my alley after work around midnight and there was birthday kitty, or at least what used to be scruffy old birthday kitty. She could barely hold herself up, her hair has fallen out from the waist down, and she's so severely malnourished it's heart-wrenching! I parked and ran over and swooped her up, it was like picking up a skeleton. This cat hadn't had a proper meal in weeks at least

I cannot believe that someone could let this happen to a poor defenseless animal. It's truly outrageous.

I took her in, made her a bed and fed her last night, and gave her as much love as I possibly could have. First thing this morning we rushed to the vet, where she is now and they are trying to stabilize her and and decide if she'll be able to pull through. (fingers crossed)

The downfall is the $600 price tag attached to trying to save this poor things life.

Again, how the hell can somebody do this??


On the flip side

I was contacted by a woman who works with a local rescue organization who asked me for the info on where I've taken beloved birthday kitty, she's forwarded the info to a contact list of over 500 people! I just spoke with the vet for an update on my girl, and they said they've already received $35 dollars in anonymous donation towards Birthday Kitty's care!

So while I condemn the horrible person who left poor birthday kitty to die, I praise the kindness of those who received a random email today, pleading for help in saving her life and picked up their phones and donated to an animal they've never even seen!

If you to felt so inclined, Birthday Kitty is being treated at the Friendly Animal Hospital in Huntington Beach, Ca. She's under my name, Jamie French.. The number is (714) 845-5722

Thanks Friends


*****UPDATE*****
(7/30/2010 - 11PM)

I've picked Birthday Kitty up from the vet for the night, she's been on IV fluids all day, and has gotten started on antibiotics. Her blood work result were very poor, but the Dr said there's hope for her, so I'm staying positive! She's excited to have a little bit of wet food, and a nice warm bed, and some serious petting!

The vet bills for today came to less than they'd quoted at about $450
I paid $300 out of pocket, but the remainder was paid via donations!
The woman with the rescue organization also contacted me and said that some of her people gave money to her directly and that she thought it to be around another $100!
Which knocks my out of pocket cost to only $200!

And the best news?!! Another person has contacted me and may be willing to take Birthday Kitty tomorrow to her own vet and incur all medical costs from here on out!
Fingers crossed that this option works out, cuz Bday kitty has a long (and pricey) road to recovery!

Here's a pic from this evening, she still looks pretty pathetic, but seemed to have a bit more energy tonight!

Thanks again friends!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

one breath

there was only a moment of hesitation. just enough to inhale, hold, exhale. Thirty seconds, maybe... there were no thoughts, no time for thoughts. just images crashing into images, blood pumping through veins amidst wild heartbeats. incoherent, unintelligible. there wasn't time. and then, movement, reaction. it was nothing but a lack of something. it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter. it doesn't... it's consuming me. it was just a natural response.. right? my body catching up with my mind... right? it's all that's left. 30 seconds. on loop, repeating, repeating, reliving. over and over, analyze, recalculate. my whole life has become that moment, there's nothing left. what happened after will never matter, and before? there was never a before. in that one moment of hesitation everything ended and everything began. it never stops.

Friday, June 4, 2010

crosses

i put it down before i'd even realized i was holding it. you know the old saying "it was over before it even began". it was something like that, if that something could leave an eight inch gash across the heart. a slowly bleeding fissure that burns with pain every time you inhale. nobody else knew. not a single person clued in to the smell of fear, the destitution behind closed doors. and, yet, every single one of them nodded their heads, as if they'd always suspected. of course they had. but it wasn't their cross to bear. can you imagine how much easier it would have been if everyone had helped? the weight of it distributed amongst them all? no, no... it wasn't anybody else's burden.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Anybody?

Anybody down to go receive darshan with me?

June 14th- June 18th

From Amma?

Sunday, April 18, 2010

long night
but tomorrow's another day
i'm going to dream about waking up smiling

Thursday, April 15, 2010

RESTART

Started making a plan today, gonna get back on track! Write more, save more, live more, feel more...
Reconnect...
Narrow the focus. Give 100% to everything I do. Positivity. Focus....

Sunday, April 4, 2010

sometimes the lack of sleep gives me a boost in clarity

but mostly it just leaves me numb

Friday, March 19, 2010

Rest Peacefully

5 years ago today my brother-in-law Dewey lost his battle with Leukemia. Using the National Bone Marrow Registry we were able to find a potentially life-saving bone marrow donor. Unfortunately, Dewey passed before he was able to go forward with the transplant. But what great hope he was filled with knowing that someone out there was willing to give a part of themselves to help save his life. You too could provide this same hope to someone else by joining the National Marrow Donor Registry...

Every 4 minutes one person is diagnosed with a blood cancer. Every ten minutes, someone dies from a blood cancer.



BE THE MATCH

From melancholy and the infinite sadness


From melancholy and the infinite sadness

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

there are words
there will always be words
that are never enough

fallen
from bleeding lips
onto deafened ears
pleas and promises
and whispers
through tears
only to end up
where i always feared

there were words
so many wasted words
they were never enough

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

"REMEMBER. NOW BE HERE"

"NOBODY IS GOING ANYWHERE
NOBODY IS COMING FROM ANYWHERE
WE'RE ALL HERE
WE'RE ALL HERE
IN ETERNAL TIME & SPACE
WE'RE ALWAYS GOING TO BE HERE
WE'RE JUST DOING THE LILA RASA
THE DIVINE DANCE WE'RE DANCING
& DANCING & DANCING
DANCE AFTER
DANCE
IN ONE BODY
IN ANOTHER BODY
& WE'RE ALL HERE
WE'RE ALL STAYING RIGHT HERE"

Saturday, January 23, 2010

it's a sub-culture i'll never really understand... i'll dabble, toes in, test the waters... here and there and here. but it's not for me, and as far as i can see it doesn't really suit anyone. lingo, ideologies, bonding? i just see excuses and escapes and running... circling. listen in, fly on the wall. every now and again, i get it, i see it, i've done it... but beyond that? i dont want to judge, i just dont want to be.

i knew this going in.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

if all the rain drops were lemondrops and gumdrops...

i love the rain
but not always the down time
me and my thoughts
and the wonder leaking in...

Sunday, January 10, 2010

words, followed by words..


i haven't written here in a bit.
i haven't written anything in a bit.
a new year...
a lot has passed. a lot has changed. ups and downs and ups, and here i stand, upright, on my feet. every day i learn something new. mostly, i'm learning about me. this year is committed to preparation. i'm getting ready for something big, something huge. planning and preparation... do it, do it, do it. work my ass off and make it happen. it's gonna be sooo worth it.