one breath

there was only a moment of hesitation. just enough to inhale, hold, exhale. Thirty seconds, maybe... there were no thoughts, no time for thoughts. just images crashing into images, blood pumping through veins amidst wild heartbeats. incoherent, unintelligible. there wasn't time. and then, movement, reaction. it was nothing but a lack of something. it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter. it doesn't... it's consuming me. it was just a natural response.. right? my body catching up with my mind... right? it's all that's left. 30 seconds. on loop, repeating, repeating, reliving. over and over, analyze, recalculate. my whole life has become that moment, there's nothing left. what happened after will never matter, and before? there was never a before. in that one moment of hesitation everything ended and everything began. it never stops.