i wish this moment would have been mine with you.

it's tearing me apart.

Trust the one who can see these three things in you:
Sorrow behind your smile
Love behind your anger, and
Meaning behind your silence.

- Nismo

every day i write you a novel
a love story
an adventure
the ultimate plea

and then i erase it, because you need space
but all of my space is filled with your absence

are you okay?
do you sleep peacefully because it feels right?
I can't grasp the concept
i cannot comprehend that your world feels bearable without us.

i know you are capable of anything, of everything
once your head is in
why not put your head in to this?

you have been away long enough to know
of that whole other world
that exists outside of ours
it was always there
and will always be

other options
other people
other passion

but ours made the world beautiful
ours made lives better
our lives better

can't you see?
they will always be there in the light
but me, i've been there in the darkness
diligently
lovingly,
to protect your beautiful heart.

that's what matters
everyone wants the fun, the silly, the easy
and i do too
but i love your sad, and scared
with a fervent intensity
because thats when you need love the most.

in every dream i win you back.

i fight long and hard
but in the end
you are mine again

and we're both so happy.

waking up has never hurt so badly...

the tears seem endless

let me love you.

Sometimes it's like someone took a knife baby
edgy and dull
and cut a six inch valley
through the middle of my soul
At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
and a freight train running through
the middle of my head

i'm on fire.

that sudden absence of human touch

it's paralyzing

My heart wants you.

All of that love and support
but still i cry out for you...

that one person to hold me and tell me i was brave and now i can just be.
wish you were here.

i'm just so sad

remember when you'd have anxiety... and i'd hold you all night and you'd ask me if i'd be with you forever? you found comfort in our forever sooo many times...

what a shitty year this has turned out to be.

I deserve the best, and you deserve the world.
And we can be that for each other.
Be here now.

Will you catch me if I'm falling
Will you catch me if I'm falling
Will you catch me cause I'm falling down on you
I said I'm under the gun around here
Oh man I said I'm under the gun around here
And I can't see nothing
Nothing round here

Since the very first day, you have been my tomorrow.

I was numb, and I'm so sorry for that. Truly. You were patient, I know you were.
And here I am, as always, thirty seconds too late. But I just can't let that be it. I can't, because you told me you'd do anything and everything for us, you believed in us. And I know it's true, and somewhere inside you still do. I never stopped, ever. I thought all those things you wanted to hear, but my mouth was paralyzed with the intensity of the world swirling above our heads.This has always been bigger than us and it is bigger than this.
You said.. anything.. everything.. ALWAYS.
You said you'd wait for me to get my head straight.
You were so impressed by us that you promised me the world. We still exist. Us still exists.
I cannot believe in a world without us. This world has already lost too much as of late.