Today was a frustrating day.
Sometimes I wonder if perhaps we were born with a certain amount of molecules (or cells or something to that effect) and each and every day one of them dies. Sometimes they die because it was their time, because we no longer needed them, or perhaps it was time for another to take its place. Somedays its more than one, maybe a handful, maybe more- sacrificed for the sake of experience or memory, or stolen by another being who's count is depleting at a speed higher than our own. Sometimes they go quietly, just a natural passage, the circle of life, other times they're torn from us, ripped away. Somedays we are completely unaware, just the passing of time, and others... well other days we feel each and everyone with the weight of the world. And at the end of it all is the last of our days, when the last of the molecules fade and we move from this life to whatever follows. Today was one of those days where too many molecules fell. It wasn't a vicious murder, a horrible traumatic separation. It was just one of those days that ended in a loss.
And I'm restless and tired and somewhat bitter about how todays molecules were spent.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
To delete or not to delete...
So lately I've felt like this blog has just been staring at me like a reminder of all the things in life I've started and never finished. My intentions were sooo good when I began writing here. I was multi-posting, and mobile posting and photo-posting.... And then....? Well, life occurred. I guess I got caught up, busy. I tried to reset my resolve and promise myself that I'd begin writing, document my school experience, get reinvigorated. And that lasted all of one post. Yet I keep coming back. I'll sit and stare at an empty screen, and THINK about writing, but not just write. Thus, lately, I've been contemplating pushing delete. Just be done with it. Get rid of it so that the lack of effort will no longer be taunting me, reminding me. But you know what? F*#k that. Nothing else in life is easy, so why take an easy road with this? I'm keeping this blog. And, hopefully, I'll be writing much more and in more frequent intervals. And if not? So what. This is my blog. Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness, and you can just call me JR.
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