how does solitude work
in the midst of a crowd
beneath hollow smiles
and painful tears
and you become numb
to the convulsing of your body
and the shortness of your breath
and you can't cry out the pain
but you can't stop either
how does it find
the weakest chord
of your heart
and the deepest pit of your stomach
and leave an aching in your soul
and then let you go on living?


*i wrote this 11 years ago. i was 18...
and here i sit asking the same question.
so tired.