speak freely?

dear reader, dear friend,

let's be frank with each other.. i think we've gotten close enough to do so, don't you? i'm depressing you. i know it, you know it, we know it. i'm pushing you away slowly, right? you hate to see me spiral, but you feel guilty tuning out, yes? it's okay. i'm aware. but i had to get it out. just had to.. yes, i used you a little, here and there, a little.. used you to communicate things i should've said out loud. but it didn't hurt you, i know it didn't, don't play the victim. we're being frank, remember? i wanted you to know that i'm ready, ok? ready to try, at least, i can't predict the outcome, but i'm ready to give it a shot. for your sake. for my own. i've still got secrets you might never know, and thats just fine, you can understand i'm sure. so, are you ready? good. take my hand, let's change pace, shift gears, move forward. go ahead, grab it, hold tight, and don't let go. but, do remember, we'll always appreciate each other much more in the darkest hours of the night. because thats just how its meant to be. afterall, it's not called melancholy and the infinite sadness for nothing. here's to the things we'll never do.


---jr